A Positively Weird Coincidence
by ScottieBoi
Summary: Deadpool breaks out of an asylum and coincidently ends up in Spider-Mans apartment. DP succeeds convinces S-M to hide him in his home, while he himself has to take part in the mission to capture DP with the avengers. What will the two of them get up to during DP's stay? **Spideypool** [WARNINGS: STONG LANGUAGE, POSSIBLE CHARACTER DEATH, is it called LEMON? and 4TH WALL BREAKING!]
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hellooo! How nice of you to read this! Very kind, much thank. Anyway, I wanted to tell you, that this is going to be a first-person-written story, but the Point Of View (POV) changes between Wade and Peter, I'll just let you know, so you know in whose head you're in right now. I might even try to break the 4thwall, not sure tho.

Have fun! (You better! And leave a review; feedback is very appreciated.) [Do I also have to mention, that I don't own Deadpool nor Spiderman? I guess..]

* * *

 **Wade Wilsons POV**

'…A very lousy day! You hear me? I wish you a super- _dooper_ lousy day!' I yelled after the doctor, while he closed the door right in front of me. I smiled. Acting was my passion, which I got to live out here, in this stinky mental hospital. But after three years, it started to get boring, even for me. So, I planned on escaping. But the key to that of course, is, that you have to act like you're still enjoying this shithole.

I think, that there are quite a few people in here, but I never got to interact with any of the other inmates, probably because I'd be endangering them or some bullshit like that. Well fuck them. Or wait, never mind. Fuck only the smoking hot ones.

Okay, I'm getting distracted. What was I doing again? Oh, yeah. Breaking out. I guess I could just bust out of the door, it's not like I couldn't do that. Like, I could have busted out of here whenever I wanted to, I just found it very entertaining to play with the doctors in here.

The thing is though, what then? If I bust out of the door, security would chase after me and it's not like I know the building, so I'd get lost and cornered somewhere with my luck. So - no, that wasn't an option. Unless… unless I'd have someone to tell me where to go. But where would I get someone like that? Heheh, _butt_.

Okay I keep getting distracted. So, busting out of the door only works, if I have someone who can direct me to the exit, very unlikely I'll find someone like that.

Another option would be, to break through the window, which is secured with heavy bars. I could try to bend them or some shit, but that wouldn't be as badass as walking right out of their front door.

I got it! If I can remember correctly, I'm on the second floor, which means, that under my cell there is another room, from which I could try to escape. And making a hole in this floor wouldn't be that hard, because this is a very old building and my floor is only one layer of wood… so maybe…

I got onto my knees and tried to peep in between the boards. It could actually work! As far as I can see, below me is a doctor's office, so there won't be that many guards around… and if the good doctor will be still in his office once the sun goes up, I guess I'll just have to knock him out. Yes, this is brilliant. Well done, me.

Though… there is one more thing. Sadly, I don't know, where they keep my katanas. Once they got me, well, they stripped me of my weapons and although they cannot do anything to them, since it's my property, they got taken away and locked up somewhere. I did get to keep my suit though, which is one of the few good things. And if you wanna know, why I got to keep it, let's just simply say, that the first doctor who tried to take it off, vomited by just seeing some of me. And I do not mean my dick. I know, great body confidence booster, right?

All I have to say right now is, that my plan is great, and it will work 110% and not be a disaster, but right not I need time to pass. I'll juts worry about my precious katanas once I bust through that floor. And in brought daylight? Genius. Badass genius, who is the handsomest, obviously.

* * *

 **Peter Parkers POV**

'Spider man, spider man, friendly neighbourhood spider man' I was humming quietly under my nose while swinging through the forest of skyscrapers. Another evening in New York. Another evening of work. Another eventless evening. But duty calls. Maybe something interesting will happen this time?

After a while I got bored swinging around, so I stopped on one of the rooftops and sat down. I looked at my watch. Already eleven pm, and I still need to get some sleep because of school tomorrow. Being eighteen, an A student during senior year AND on top of that a superhero was pretty exhausting, to say the least. Besides, if I'm needed, Mr. Stark will call me.

But I stayed for another hour on the roof, lying down onto my back and looking at the stars, then I got up and at 12:13 I was back in my small but clean apartment. I went straight to bed after stripping from my suit. Tomorrow is a new day, right?

* * *

this is short, i know. i'll try to upload regularly (and with a higher word-count?) ? [probably won't happen hehe]


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE 2NDCHAPTER DREAR READER!

REVIEWS AND FEEDBACK ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED!

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD MORNING/ DAY/ EVENING/ NIGHT/ WHATEVER!

* * *

Wade Wilsons POV

I bounced up from my actually very uncomfortable bed, out of breath as if I'd taken part in the French marathon while carrying another person piggyback. Wait. I think that was actually my dream… and I know the person I was carrying but… I just can't remember… never mind. Probably wasn't important anyway.

Then I remembered, what today was. MY GREAT PRISON-BREAK! Or asylum-break if you want. But "PRISON-BREAK" sounds _way_ better and more badass, you know, because it's written in all caps. It's a hint from the author to me, that I should go with "PRISON-BREAK" instead of "asylum-break".

Anyways. I didn't waste a thought on how to break the floor under me yesterday, but I guess if I jump really hard… from this bed… and like do that move, that like wrestlers do and concentrate all of my weight on my elbow and land on it… that should work.

I stood up on my bed and prepared myself, playing what I am about to do a few times inside my bed. I only had one chance, because if there were anyone below this room, they'd alarm security if their ceiling would be almost broken through… and even if there wouldn't be a person, this would make a helluva lot noise and if I would have to attempt this a second time, security would be already waiting for me there.

Fuck it. YOLO, right? Wait do you still… is that still in? Shit. Sorry. I was in here for the past three years, OKAY? Please don't sue me. I hadn't made any money while I was in here and the leftovers from three years ago are presumably gone by now. Shit.

Okay, sorry I talk too much.

I looked one last time onto the floor and fixated on one spot, where I'd crash into. And then I jumped. Imagine it, in slow-motion, majestic like a dolphin or a whatelerelse is majestic. Then, slowly my face twists into panic-mode as I realise that this is going to hurt a shitton and will probably twist my elbow into a direction, it should never be facing.

Now you may be thinking _ugh, typical Deadpool, such an airhead, never thinks stuff fully through_ and yes, I have to agree. But that's how you live the extreme life. The badass life.

At least I did luckily break through the floor on the first attempt and I did indeed twist my elbow, that now points in a direction elbows were really not design to point. And it hurt even worse than I had imagined.

But I had to act fast, no time for pain. As I fell through, there was a clear yell of surprise, but it wasn't _that_ loud. Well, not as loud as my body crashing through wood. Quickly I eyed the dude in the white lab coat, before running up to him and pinning him to the wall, which he was conveniently standing in front of.

'You're going to tell me, where my shit is, if you want your lungs to keep on filling with' I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly 'sweet, sweet air.'

He looked shocked at my twisted elbow, before staring into my face.

'Yes, yes, of course. Uh, down the hall and to the left, but the door is secured.' He whined.

'Any security people, that might have heard me?'

'No… not at this… time.' He stammered.

'Good.' I was pleased with myself. Now is the moment, when we all say "good Deadpool" together and be proud. 'You're gonna lead me there. And no pulling any funny stuff, understood?' I went to a cabinet where I saw straightjackets hanging. I took one off the hanger and grabbed one I thought would fit me.

I pulled my mask off and stuffed it into my pocket. No one has seen my face, so I should look like a normal patient here. I think. I don't know how the other patients look like.

'Hey, you. Put this on me, but I swear if you're going to pull some shit, I won't hesitate to take action. _I'm crazy, remember?_ ' I smiled with teeth while turning around to the doctor, who flinched at the sight of my face. 'OH, COME ON, IT'S NOT THAT BAD, YOU'RE GIVING ME INSECURITIES HERE, MAN.'

The other man mumbled what I assumed was an apology, then strapped me up so lightly, that I was still able to move my arms out. I did straighten my elbow out before that, I don't think that twisted elbows are in right now.

'Now please, lead the way, doc.' I grinned, and the man obeyed. How submissive.

He led me out of his cabinet and through the hall, finally turning left. Just as he told me previously.

'Uncuff me maybe?' I demanded and he once again, obeyed. I guess he was really scared.

Once I was free again, I looked around the room. It was very simply organised. Just a few metal lockers, the ones you can find in high schools. I looked at the guy in the lab coat with expectation and he understood.

'This one is yours… you're Wade Wilson, right?' he pointed at the locker that was second if you counted from the left.

I went up to it, landing a punch right into the middle, bending the door. Then I just took it and tore it away from its original place.

'My katanas!' I squealed like a fangirl, that was for the first time on a Justin Bieber concert and saw him from the other side of the hall. I took my mask out and covered my face with it again. Then I took all the tiny daggers and different guns out of the locker and stuffed them back into their spot. I turned on my heel and addressed the guy that led me here.

'If you could also just point me into the direction of an exit… aaand maybe also give me your car keys, that'd be very nice.' I grinned from under my mask at the older guy. He was as pale-ish-grey, as the wall behind him. He reached for his pocket and pulled out car keys. With tears in his eyes, he put them down into my stretched-out hand and I closed it around them. 'Thank you, Jon. Exit?'

He explained that it's to the right from here and explained that security has a five-minute break in a few minutes.

'Thank you, Frank or Jon or whatever you're called. I really enjoyed this bond that we had, and although we only knew each other properly for like ten? Twenty? Minutes, it really meant something to me. And you will always stay in my heart. But I also hope, that you understand why I have to do this.' I declared and before he could even react, I knocked him out and left him on the floor.

I quickly followed the directions he just gave me and got to the door just in time to see security leave their posts. Then I walked over to the front door, without any rush. My plan had worked, and I look totally badass right now. I hope, that the security cameras can handle my level of coolness.

As the cool wind hit my masked face (it still felt really nice and refreshing and I could feel myself getting a boner) I clicked the car keys and looked through the small parking lot to spot the car that lit up. It wasn't anything special, but it was better than nothing.

And this was my FUCKING PRISON-BREAK. I DID IT. FUCK YEAH.

* * *

Peter Parkers POV

Honestly, I didn't have time for school. This was stupid and a complete waste of time. I could be out there _right now_ fighting bad guys and protecting the people of New York. But no, I was stuck in shitty English. Doing some really dumb stuff that everyone will forget once the damn bell rings. But no matter how hard you stare at the clock, time will not move faster. But then the unexpected happened.

 **'Can a Peter Parker please come to the front desk, I repeat Peter Parker, please come to the front desk, asap'**

The voice clang through the whole school, everyone in my classroom looked at me, some people making these weird "oooooh" sounds, thinking I got in trouble. But I didn't care, even if I got in trouble. Anything to escape this hell.

I quickly packed my bag and left the classroom, almost running outside. School halls without students are somewhat creepy, so isolated. I still managed to get to the front desk, where the secretary waited with a guy that I identified to be Tony Stark.

'Your dad here is taking you home, due a sudden family-issue. Please sign here?' she handed me pen and paper. I did as said, then turned around to Tony. I was living with him and he had been my legal guardian for the past… three years, was it?

We went side by side out of the school building, me thanking him the whole way for getting me out of that place.

'So, what is actually up? New mission?' I asked curiously.

'No… something else.' He said mysteriously while walking towards his parked limousine. Then someone came out and I recognised Steve. The blonde ran towards us, excitement in his blue eyes. 'Did you tell him yet?' he yelled once he got closer.

Confused I looked at Tony, who shook his head.

'Well what are you waiting for then? Tell him!' Steve reached us and smiled the hugest smile I have ever seen on him.

'Well-' Tony began, but Steve cut him off.

'Tony here said yes!' the blue eyed grinned and gave the other man a kiss on his cheek, which made the other blush.

'Stop that…' Tony mumbled, but it was pretty clear that he enjoyed it.

'Well that's great news!' I hugged Steve, then he pulled Tony into our hug. 'That means you're my dad now too?'

'Hey, don't steal my man, kid.' Tony protested jealously.

'I don't mean _that_ kind of dad.' I reassured him, although I did not find Steve unattractive and if I had a chance, I'd totally let him- Wait. What am I thinking? This is the guy who just got engaged to my dad. Crap.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I don't know, why in most spideypool ff, iron man and capitan America are spideys dads, but whatever. They're in my ff his dads too, cuz why not.

ONCE AGAIN: feel free to leave a review or feedback, much appreciated, thank you, yes I am desperate to know if I write any good. So desperate.

* * *

Wade Wilsons POV

I yanked the keys into the ignition of the car and started it. Security should be back any moment and I really don't feel like letting them ruin my moment here. This is great. For once, everything went according to plan. I felt great, my boner still popping and if I had hair, it would be pulled back by the wind. Dammit. Where do I find a wig? Eh, too much effort. Can you just imagine me in a wig over my mask, blonde long locks falling behind my back while I drive off in the stolen car, windows down, the air hydrating my mask.

I'd be hot as a chick, I should consider doing drag. And drugs. And some hot dude, that won't mind me having my mask on for the whole experience.

I almost hit another car, but its honking pulled me out of my thoughts. I should really pay just a little more attention to my surroundings right now.

Okay so what now? What do I do now? They're going to obviously try to catch me again, so I should lay low for the next few months, maybe doing a couple jobs, then after everything calms down I can work fulltime again. Sure, but that is in the future. What do I do now? I can't keep the car, they're going to find me that way, but I can't just take public transport either, because I attract too much attention when I'm wearing the suit, but also without it people will notice me. Shit. This handsome face is a blessing and a curse simultaneously, mostly the second though.

I could dump the car and then walk, take dark allies and stuff, but I wouldn't get too far that way, because the people who will search for me, will have cars. And I'm sadly not faster than a car… they will also search my apartment and Sister Margret's, so I can't show up there either.

Who will be actually looking for me? The police? They'd have no chance. Maybe they'll send the X-men or the Avengers, they might have _a_ chance.

Well that's a problem I'll worry about in the future. Right now, I need a hiding place. Couldn't I just break in into one apartment and then just hope that the owner overdosed or something? That's worth a shot, with my lucky streak today… it'll hopefully work.

Now the car… I could just… dump it here, run as far as possible, then look for an apartment?

OR I could blow up the car… no, too much attention.

How about I drive to some ally and "forget" my keys in the ignition? Surely someone would steal it, right? Yes Deadpool, good idea. Well done, me.

I searched for the shadiest ally I could find within a 50km radius and then turned off the engine. I got out of the car and closed the door behind me. I pretended to go to some staircase and pretended to look for keys, when I heard a car ignition go off behind me. I grinned on the inside, but right now, I had to act. As I said before; my passion.

With an expression of anger mixed with disbelieve mixed with _how could I have been so stupid_ , I tried to run after the car, waving my hands above my head to catch the thieves attention, but he or she, I'm not sexist, drove already off. And then it hit me. The thief couldn't read my facial expression because I was wearing a mask.

'Fucking shit!' I yelled out loud. I was devastated. And this devastation made me super unmotivated. All this hassle, completely for nothing. Fuck.

I wasn't in the mood to go off on more adventures to find a crack house, so I decided I'd go up the fire exit and check through the windows if the apartment looks abandoned.

To my surprise I found one with its window wide open on the 13thstory. I peeked inside, but no one seemed home. Deciding to check it out, I carefully slid inside the building. I'd check if the person who lived here had pile of mail in front of their door. If yes, the house would be safe, meaning no one had been here since some time, if there was no pile, I could just grab some beers out of their fridge and continue my search for a place to stay.

To my luck, the pile was pretty impressive. The whole floor was covered in mail, postcards from exotic places, but also other papers I was too lazy to look at better.

Out of curiosity I picked up one of the postcards, it was from Hong Kong and it said:

 _Hey Peter!_

 _As you can see, Steve and I are in Hong Kong._

 _It's nice._

 _I hope everything is okay on your end in NY._

 _Yours, Dad._

Under this writing, someone else wrote something, a little additional note. It read:

 _PETE!_

 _YOUR DAD AND I ARE HAVING SO MUCH FUN AND ITS ALMOST A SIN YOU'RE NOT HERE._

 _I MISS YOU AND ALTHOUGH YOUR DAD WOULD NEVER TELL YOU THIS, HE DOES TOO, YOU KNOW HIM AND HIS PROBLEM TO TALK ABOUT EMOTIONS, RIGHT?_

 _ANYWAYS, I HOPE YOU HAVE LOTS OF FUN TOO_ _J_

 _WITH LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE FROM ME AND YOUR DAD,_

 _STEVE_

The postcard was addressed to a certain Peter Parker. Funny, his name and last name start with the same letter as mine. We got something in common!

His relatives seem… weird. That's the way I will describe them and that's it. his family sends him at least postcards, so I am not the one to judge.

Since I was staying here, I might as well make myself at home. I found the kitchen and looked for some beer, which was suspiciously lacking. What kind of crackhead doesn't have beer inside his fridge?

Even more angrily I smacked the door shut and started to search for the bedroom. I was tired and emotionally drained from my earlier failed performance.

* * *

Peter Parkers POV

Tony and Steve got me out of school to join them at their engagement party. It was one of the hugest I have ever seen, but it was not crowded, since the Stark-Tower was pretty big. I even had three rooms for myself here, but Tony understood when I moved out. Naturally he was a little concerned about the location, but then I reminded him, that it's better that way, because I was Spider-Man after all and I could deal with some petty criminals with ease. But in the end, I had to promise Tony that I'd call him, whenever I was in trouble.

It was getting late, so late that I didn't have time to go patrolling today, but it was worth it. I mean, how often do you witness the hugest engagement party since centuries? Worth it.

I quickly told Steve that I'm leaving, and the blonde hugged me.

'Thanks for being here and approving of me marrying your dad. Really, thank you.' I could see some tears in his eyes. My inside started hurting, but I tried not to show it. Not to Steve, especially not him. So, I simply nodded and got the hell out of there.

A taxi drove me home. Finally, alone, where I could cry all night, because the man I didn't want to admit I had a crush on, is getting married with my dad. How messed up is that? Something was deeply wrong with me.

I lost my front-door key, so my entrance was the window I always left open. But it was so high up, that no one ever went up there to check, so it was safe.

Tired, I swayed up on my web to the window. It was just how I left it. I got inside, too exhausted to take anything off except for my shoes. I slipped into my bedroom silently and jumped onto my bed. But unlike always, I collided with something heavier than me. Shocked I screamed with moderate loudness, realising it was a person. There was a person on my bed. And I woke them up.

It had a masculine figure, so I assumed it was a male. What in the worlds name was a guy doing in my bed in the middle of the night?

He sat up, sleepy and rubbing his eyes he eyes me, but I couldn't sense any shock on his face. I couldn't really see his face, but he appeared bald and strongly build. I could barely hear him mumble something to himself, as I took a few steps back and turned on the light.

To my surprise, he was wearing a suit, just like me, it was red too. But his was paired with black, mine with blue. He gave off a slightly irritated aura.

'So, you're the shithead that doesn't have any fucking beer in his goddamn fridge.' He found his words first, making me go even more speechless.

'E-excuse me?' I stuttered, slightly indignant.

'You' he pointed at me 'don't' he crossed his arms into a giant X while shaking his head 'have any beer' he brought an invisible bottle of what I assumed was supposed to be beer to his mouth and pretended to drink it 'in your goddamn fridge.' He finished pointing in the direction of my kitchen.

I shook my head. 'First of all, who the hell are you, secondly, what the shit are you doing in my apartment and thirdly, name me at least one good reason, why I shouldn't call the police right now.' I looked demanding into the mask of the other.

'Okay, okay. Hear me out before doing any rash decisions. Trust me, it's not good, I learned it the hard way. So, _Peter Parker_ , I guess _you're_ Spider-Man. Whoever you are, _who would have thought, you little sneaky brat, you_.' Shocked I cut him off.

'How do you know my name?' he was trying to get onto his feet, but I reacted first. I quickly shot two webs in his direction, resulting in him being chained to my bed by both wrists, leaving him immobilised.

'Whoa, whoa, chill there Webbs, I might have read some of your postcards. Calm down please.' He looked at his wrists, then again at me. I could feel his eyes staring into mine. 'But on the other hand, Spider-Man, you have my consent.' He didn't break eye contact with me.

I was confused. 'Your consent? For what?' I stared back.

'Well, I'm not judging, but BDSM turns me on too. We're all just pals here, right? Just say "no homo" before sticking it in me, then you'll be fine.' I finally realised what he meant, thanking god, that I was wearing a mask, so that the other wasn't seeing me blush.

'You do realise that by simply saying "no homo" doesn't make it straight, right? That's stupid.'

'Well, what can I say. I grew up on a lot of straight guys and this was the only way to lure them into my dungeon of gay.' The other replied.

'Wait- ' I broke him off. 'Nice story and all, but would you kindly not distract me from my actual questions? Who are you? Why are you here?'

'Shit, I thought it would have worked.' He admitted. 'Well then; I'm here, because I need to get off the grid for some time. It's not safe for me out there right now. And I thought this was some dead crackheads house, so I stumbled in.' the stranger explained.

'And _who_ are you?' I asked for the third time.

'I'm the fucking tooth fairy. As sexy and on-turning this bondage situation here is, I'd appreciate it, if you'd let me go now?'

'What did you do? Why do you need to "get off grid"?'

'That is of no concern of yours. Will you let me stay here, please?' he tried begging me.

'And why in the world would I do that? This is probably something illegal and I'd rather not get caught in between.' I explained, amused by the hope of this stranger.

'Well maybe because if you won't let me stay here, I'll go to the worst guys I know and tell them all about the true identity of Spider-Man. Sounds great, right?'

'You're blackmailing me?' I said outraged. This is unbelievable.

'Sure. I don't care. Call it, whatever you want. It's all the same to me. But I can tell you this babe, the no-homo offer still stands.' And I saw him grin brightly under that mask of his.

I sigh. 'I'll sleep on the couch then today.' I mumbled under my breath, before turning around and leaving the bedroom, not forgetting to turn off the lights.

I could still hear him yell after me: 'Wait, Webbs? Webbs, sweetie, you forgot to free my wrists! Hey, sweetheart!'


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello once again! I hope you like the story so far?

* * *

Wade Wilsons POV

I woke up once again, both my arms sore. I couldn't move them and unpleasant memories from the night before shot through my mind. Ugh that encounter didn't go very well, I'll have to think of something that will convince him to let me stay here without me having to blackmail him. I didn't like blackmailing him.

Only now I noticed the shower-sound coming from a door that led away from this room. He is probably in there, right? Looking around I noticed a clock on the nightstand, which said that it was seven in the morning.

Now the door opened, and a boy came out, light brown hair and slightly darker eyes, wearing only a towel around his hips. Once he saw me, his eyes widened. I think he didn't expect me to be up already.

'Who the fuck are you?' I asked, only to annoy him a little.

I heard him curse under his breath, grasping his forehead like he was very ashamed and couldn't believe I was still here, which totally amused me more.

'Who knew, Spider-Man was still so young? And so damn hot?' to my even greater amusement, he blushed a little, which made him look very cute. 'Could you now please free me?' I added, looking at the webs around my wrists. I saw him look there too, then he must have looked at the clock next to the bed.

'Shit, I have to go. I'll be back at noon, I hope you'll be gone by then and in the meantime, don't you dare make a mess here, 'cause I swear to god, it won't end nicely for you.' And he rushed out, grabbing some clothes from a chair next to the bedroom door.

'So you're just gonna leave me here? Tied to the bed? That is so rude, you are so not a good host, Peter!' I yelled after him but heard halfway through the window open. He was probably gone by now. 'Fuck!' I tried to reach my katana with my right hand, but it was kinda hard to pull out. Though I didn't stop trying and eventually succeeded. Quickly I cut the web off my left hand and grabbed the katana with it, then I freed myself completely. What a shithead.

I stood up from the bed and stretched my bones, that cracked very loudly. Satisfied and hungry, I made my way to the kitchen. The no-beer situation still brought my mood a small bit down, but then I found all the ingredients to bake cookies, the ones with chocolate pieces inside. My favourite. Besides, I think Peter will be happy, when he returns home and some freshly baked cookies will wait for him. Maybe I could convince him to let me stay, if I promise to bake him cookies every day? That would convince _me_.

With smooth moves, I threw everything inside a bowl and mixed it together, before carefully forming hearts out of the dough onto the oven tray. About forty minutes later, they were finished, a pleasant smell spread all over the apartment.

Happy with myself, I laid them out, to cool them off. During the whole waiting time, I watched TV, more specifically some soap operas. _"As the world turns"_ was on and I got very invested, the plot soaked me up fully, making me laugh and cry with the characters.

At some point Peter came home, very confused by the smell of his apartment.

'Hey honey, I baked you some cookies. They're in the kitchen – enjoy!' I told him in a very sweet voice. The boy's face turned even more confused, as he went to the kitchen to check out the pastry I baked for him.

After a few seconds, I followed him into the other room. The cookies were laid out, one next to another, five in a row. I had written on them with red frosting:

CAN DEADPOOL PLEASE STAY?

'If you let me, I can bake cookies for you EVERY DAY, my sweet baby boy!' I added as I saw him read it.

'So… your name is _Deadpool_?' he asked and looked at me. 'Not, and I quote here, " _the fucking tooth fairy"_?' he was playing with me, meaning he was in a good mood.

'You can call me either.' I played with him a little too. 'So? How about it?'

'Do you honestly think, that _cookies_ will convince me, to partake in your crime? I don't even know the least about you. Where did you escape from? What did you do to get there?' he really pushed that topic.

'I'll tell you, if you let me stay. And you don't have to be caught up in my' I made quotation marks in the air with my fingers, 'crime' I stopped, 'cause like if the police or whatever catches you hiding me, you can tell them, I made you do it by blackmailing you that I'd reveal your identity.'

'Add the cookies and I might think about it.' the brown haired said, grabbed a few and stepped out of the kitchen, eating the heart shaped cookies.

'Sure!' I went after him into his bedroom. 'Yeah, I can do the cookies too.'

'I have to go on patrol, but when I come back I'll tell you my answer. Or the police might bust through the door to arrest you. Not sure yet.' His brown eyes pierced through the air and I had a feeling he was trying to stare me in the eyes but wasn't sure where exactly I was looking. Then he signalised me to leave the room and I did what I was told, returning to my soaps.

* * *

Peter Parkers POV

I'm really not sure about that Deadpool guy. He seems friendly and harmless, except for his odd sense of humour. I could do with a roommate, I wouldn't have to be all alone during the night and I think I could see myself being somewhat friends with him. He strikes me as the kind of guy, whom a lot of people dislike, so he would have barely friends over and he could watch over the house while I'm gone.

The only thing that is bothering me, is that he seems to have a criminal past and I might not be able to tell Tony about him, since he is very strict.

I flew through the buildings in New York, watching over the citizen, but no criminals were out today. Good, because I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on them either.

Just as I chose to let Deadpool live with me, I got a call.

'Hello?' I picked up.

'Peter, we need you here right now, something happened, and I want to put you on the task force that will be responsible for this.' Tony sounded a little anxious.

'On my way.' And I hung up.

Ten minutes after, I was riding the elevator up the stark-tower. As the doors opened, a worried Steve greeted me and accompanied me to the living room. There, I see Dr. Strange, Thor and Tony waiting for me, sitting on the comfortable couch, everyone looks worried.

'Hi everyone!' I greet them and realise instantly, that my tone is way too happy for the mood in this room.

Tony comes directly towards me and hugs me. 'Good, you're here.' He breaks the hug and pushes me softly closer to the couch. I take a seat and look curiously around.

'Spider-Man, here's the thing.' Tony starts, and everyone looks at me, 'A very dangerous criminal is on the loose and the police has asked us to lead the investigation. I'm adding you to the team that will carry out this task, together with Steven, Dr. Strange and Thor.'

'Cool, let's do this then! Who is that guy?' I sounded too happy again, but I think I should bring some light into the atmosphere, so I tries my best to be as optimistic as I could.

'Well, he goes by the name Deadpool, we don't know his civilian name. He's a highly dangerous mercenary, so we should be careful. As far as I know, he's also very sneaky and cannot be killed, due some experiments a while ago. He is also very provocative, which can be seen, as he swaggers out of the asylum though the front door, during brought daylight.' Steve explained while showing a video on the rather massive TV.

As soon as I heard the name "Deadpool", my heart first stopped, before starting to beat really, unhealthily fast. I didn't expect him to be so… wanted by some people.

'And not to forget,' Steve added and looked around the people in the room, 'We still have some unfinished business with that shithead.'

I have never heard curse words out of Steves mouth and it sounded comical, I almost laughed out loud, was able to hold it back though.

'Any more questions? I think Steve here explained pretty well.' It was Tony's turn to look at everyone. No one had questions.

The rest of the night, we all discussed clues and possible hiding places of him. I didn't mention, that in reality this very wanted guy, was hanging around my place, baking heart shaped cookies.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey… sorry I didn't post in such a long time, but I had some personal stuff going on…

WeLL anyways, I read somewhere this theory, that Peter is actually trans and that this is why he insists on being spiderMAN and that's why he couldn't tie a tie in homecoming and his aunt had to help him? welL I really like this theory and well, I'm making Peter Parker of this ff officially a trans-guy.

* * *

Peter Parkers POV

I returned home, my head hurting. I couldn't decide, whether or not I should let Deadpool stay at my house. My wit was telling me, that it wouldn't be the right thing to do, but my heart fell in love with the cookies, that he baked earlier. And something deep inside me, told me, that the suited guy wasn't that dangerous anyways and that I should give him a chance.

I guess, I'll let him stay.

I went in through the window I always use, and found the older man asleep on the couch, the TV streaming a show in Spanish, which I couldn't understand. But it seemed to be a soap opera. How can this man be dangerous? He literally bakes and watches soaps.

I got closer to the couch and pulled a blanket over the guy asleep. Then I made my way to my own bedroom, where I took a quick shower and jumped into my bed. Somehow it smelled different, then I remembered that Deadpool slept here last night. Quickly I thought of something else.

Steve came to mind first and I couldn't stop thinking about him. His sharp jawline, those dreamy abs and that smile that didn't stop at his lips but covered also those blue eyes that saw everything. Without thinking about it my hands slid down my body to my crotch. I inhaled sharply, while more images of Steven flooded my brain.

But then a sleepy 'Hey, Spidey?' and the opening of my door tore me out of my fantasies in the most brutal way.

Deadpool was standing there, in my door, looking at me and slowly understanding, what he just interrupted.

'Oh, well – wow. I, uh, I am speechless. This doesn't happen very often, but – just wow. Okay. Well. Uhmmm' he went on talking, in obvious shock.

'What do you want?' I hissed, and I felt how my face was turning very red, very fast, while I was covering as much of me as I could with my pillows. Unfortunately, I was lying on my blanked and it would be very hard to pull that from under me.

'I – I just wanted to ask you, if, you know, I could stay here, but I guess that can wait until morning.' He smirked 'in the meantime, it looks like you could use a little help with that?' he pointed at my crotch area. The Deadpool from earlier seemed to be back.

'Go!' I hissed at him again.

'Spider-Man, would you be so kind and reveal to me, who got you going like that? You had me shook earlier, you seem so innocent.' I could see him smile and my thoughts went back to Steven, which made me blush even more. 'I don't suppose it was me?' he asked half hopefully, half mockingly.

'No.' I grumbled and closed my eyes sighing.

'Well, you'll have to tell me later. But now, I'll leave you to yourself, to finish what you started.' He spun around on his heel and closed the door behind him.

I took a pillow from next to me and pressed it against my face, yelling various curse words. I was so fucking mad, at myself for getting horny while thinking of my dad's fiancée, and mad at Deadpool who walked in on me, seeing me like that, at my weakest. Fucking shit.

* * *

Wade Wilsons POV

I closed the door behind me and walked back to the couch. Sitting down, I tried to process, what exactly just happened. I walked in on Peter, masturbating, which is totally normal cuz like everyone masturbates, but I could see in his eyes, that he was thinking about someone he shouldn't. Obviously not about me, who would think about me while doing that.

When I think about it, I regret not asking him, if he had a hoodie or something for me, so I could get out of this suit I wore for around three years. It really needs cleaning, which I can tell by the fact that I can smell my own sweat on it, and then you know that it's real bad.

A sudden tiredness absorbed me, but when I tried to close my eyes, I had the image of a half-fucked Peter in my head and though the visual was not revolting, I didn't want it stuck in my head for the rest of the night. So, I jumped back onto my legs and stepped out of the window, despite my heavy eyes and general tiredness. I walked up the fire-scape stairs and found myself on the roof of the building. It was already around midnight and the moon stood above this city and watched over the sleeping people, shining its damp light on the minimum amount on surface, allowing everyone who is moderate at being sneaky to pass unnoticed to the untrained eye.

I crossed the roof and sat down on the side, swinging my legs from the edge. I missed this. The cold breeze of the night, sitting under the bare moon, looking down on the streets of New York. Only some music was missing, that would blast into my ears through some headphones.

I decided, I would take a walk, since sleeping was a big NO for me, due to some visuals I do not want to think about. Fuck. I was thinking about it now.

I jumped down and landed on concrete, which led to me instantly breaking both of my legs. At least the pain made me think of something else than Peter without shirt, his hair wet from a shower which he presumably took earlier, and all nice and blushy and- 'For Christ's sake!' I yelled out loud and tried to concentrate on the pain in my legs.

After some time on the concrete, the healing factor finished doing its job and I stood up again, strolling the mostly empty alleys.

I need to get a cell as soon as possible, so I could reach my friends, but for now, a telephone box, which I surprisingly found, would do.

I punched the number in and held the handset to my ear. It rang a couple of times, then he picked up.

'Sister Margret's anything I can do?' a very tired voice answered.

'Hey, Weasel, are you doing something now? It's Francis, your friend, remember?' I internally hoped, he'd understand and play along, which he luckily did.

'Oh, yeah, Francis. Haven't seen you in a while, thought you were still in Canada.' His voice was piercing and slightly angry.

'Yeah, well I came back on short notice. Thanks for visiting me by the way.' I said bitterly.

'Well, there were no available plane tickets.'

'Anyways, I was wondering if you'd want to have a drink sometime? Like right now?'

'Sounds just great' he replied sarcastically.

'Okay, well meet you at the Mexican place? And I think I forgot some clothes over at your place, could you bring them too?'

'Yeah, sure. See yah.' And he hung up.

Excited to see my friend again and for the change of clothes, I skipped to the restaurant, which was conveniently close to where I was. They had open 24/7 and knew me very well, so I doubt that they'd call the cops on me.

I strolled in through the front door, a _bimm_ signalising my presence. A waiter ran from the back and abruptly stopped at my sight.

'Deadpool! Como has estado, mi amigo*?' he asked with sparkling eyes. And in case you're wondering, the translation of these phrases is further down, marked with those weird stars. But come on, you don't know Spanish?

'Bueno, disfrutando de la libertad hasta el momento**. But could you give me a private room, Weasel will join me shortly and you know… I am wanted by the police after all. So some privacy would be great.'

'¡Por supuesto!***' and the waiter led me into a room, that was reserved for parties and gatherings of multiple people.

'I'd also like to order the usual, I haven't had Mexican in quite a while.'

The waiter nodded and ran off again.

Soon I was joined by Weasel, who smiled as soon as he saw me.

'Hello, there, _Francis_.' He mocked me and sat down next to me at the massive table.

'The phoneline might be tapped, you stupid idiot. Did you bring me some clothes?' I rolled my eyes and my friend threw a bag onto the table.

'Here, but I expect to have it back the same way I gave it to you. Clean and smelling nice.'

'Yeah, sure thing. Could you also wash my suit? It's kinda hard for me to do right now, and you have a washing machine in your apartment anyways. Do me a solid?'

* * *

[* how have you been, my friend?

**good, enjoying the freedom so far

*** of course!]


	6. Chapter 6

HEY. I AM **SO** SORRY ABOUT NOT UPLOADING... I'LL TRY TO DO THIS MORE FREQUENTLY, I SWEAR! now, just enjoy this nice chapter... i hope you'll like it?

* * *

Peter Parkers POV

I woke up and I was instantly in a bad mood. Still mad about yesterday, I dressed myself in a shirt and a pair of jeans, then trotted out of my room to get breakfast. Deadpool was nowhere to be seen, which was a little bit worrying, but I tried to pay as little attention as possible. He was a grown man and could take care of himself. I think.

I poured milk into my cereals and composed a message for my new roommate, which I wrote down on a piece of paper once I finished food. I taped it to the TV and grabbed my backpack, before jumping out of my window to catch my bus.

School was boring as usual, then during my break Ned found me sitting by my lonesome in the canteen.

'Hey Parker.' He greeted me with a big smile and sat down across from me.

'Hi Ned, what's up?' I asked without wanting to hear the answer. I was deep in my thoughts and didn't want to be disrupted.

'Parker? Are you even listening?' he snapped his fingers in front of my face a couple of times, pulling me away from my thoughts. 'What are you thinking about? You're like _gone_.'

'Err, well, to be honest, I kinda let a criminal stay at my place and now the Avengers are searching for him and he's supposed to be very dangerous, but all he does is bake cookies and watch Spanish soaps and I kinda like his company, though we had some awkward moments yesterday and today morning he wasn't there anymore and I really don't know if I should tell Tony or not, but I actually did already decide to not tell him, but then again I don't know if I should trust my own judgement.' I spilled out, without thinking, Ned listening to my nonsense.

'Wait – there is a guy at your place? And the Avengers are looking for him? Dude. Are you like not scared of him? He might pull some shit.'

'I doubt that, but even if he does, I can defend myself, remember?' I could just

'Just… be careful man. There are a lot of strange dudes out there.'

'I will be. And I guess you won't be able to come over…' with Deadpool is staying over, I guess that this wouldn't be possible anymore. I'm sure the suited guy would bother us a lot. Or even worse; want to play with us.

'Oh man. That blows, dude. Shit.' Ned was visibly upset.

But then finally school was over, and I joined the flood of students escaping through the front gate, when I saw a fancy black car parked on the side of the street in front of the school building and Happy leaning on it. He was looking into the crowd, trying to spot someone, most likely me. I pushed through the other kids and waved at the man in the suit.

'Yo, Happy, waddup?' I fist bumped him before getting into the backseat of the car. Tony was waiting for me inside.

'How are you, kid? Had a nice day?'

'Yeah, it was fine I guess.'

'Good.'

'Why are you here?' I asked confused, but looked out of the window as the car started and I drove past the other students.

'Here to pick you up. With this asshole on the loose, I cannot let anything happen to you.' Tony sounded really angry.

'Hey… you know that I can deal with bad guys, you don't have to do this.' I felt slightly betrayed and underrated.

'But… you don't know how he can be.'

I probably knew more than the avengers combined about said mercenary. But I let Tony drive me home and promise me that he won't pick me up again. He probably had more important things to do, than be concerned about me.

* * *

Wade Wilsons POV

After a nice meal with Weasel and a fresh clothing on and my suit with my friend, who after some heated arguments agreed to wash it, i made my way onto the streets again. Soon it'd be morning and i had to return to Peters apartment before the sun got up.

the way back to Peters was quick and i jumped through the window into the apartment quietly.

i put the two other pairs of hoodies and three more t-shirts on the couch, then remembered there is still no beer.

'fucking shitty kid. i thought teenagers drank everyday - how else do they cope with stress?' shaking my head, i snuck out of the apartment again and made my way to the closest supermarket, which was around the corner.

once i was inside and saw the selection of different alcohols, my longing for beer was replaced by my longing for some whiskey. i bought three bottles and some cookies with the money Weasley borrowed me, the cashier tired and disinterested in my scarred face.

the morning sunbeams were shining aggressively onto me and i started jogging. i couldn't get caught. everything would have been for nothing and i probably wouldn't see Peter ever again.

also i couldn't let him see me looking like this. looking like... me. disgusting. so instead of getting into the apartment through the window, i went up to the roof again, hoping no one would spot me. but with my hoodie i looked like any other guy, really.

i was so glad, that i also got some cookies. i opened the pack and the taste gave me a boner. i haven't had any of those i made yesterday - they were all for Peter.

he was such a cute kid. i'd smash. and i think he even might be legal... but of course i knew he'd never sleep with me. i looked down to the fire-stairs and saw the brown haired boy leave. i waited for a minute, then i got inside. the whole apartment smelled nice, like Peter.

i put the alcohol into the fridge and then as i wanted to turn the TV on, i saw a sticky-note on the tor right corner. in a messy handwriting it said:

Deadpool - i'll be home around noon.

i will need to talk to you about some things, it's  
important.  
in the meantime pls make urself at home, i  
guess, but don't make a mess!  
\- P

a smiley was drawn next to the P.

i smiled. then looked around. the whole apartment was a mess already, how was i supposed to cause more? then i got to work.

while watching more Spanish soaps, i started cleaning the whole apartment. sorting all kinds of stuff, from postcards to figurines to comic books. everything was dirty or dusty. so much work...

after a few hour of honest labour, i exhaustedly fell asleep on the couch, happy with myself. for the first time in a long, long time i felt actually useful.

footsteps woke me up. Peter was trying to sneak past me and when he noticed that i woke up, he looked down. i was glad, i slept with my hood covering my head, otherwise the other would have had a nasty surprise.

'hi...' the boy whispered.

i said nothing.

'i see you cleaned? it actually looks really nice... thank you.' he sounded actually grateful.

'does that mean i can stay?' i asked and got excited.

'...yes. but you'll have to do some housework while i'm in school. deal?'

'sure.' i already decided to do it anyway.

'also, when my dad is visiting, you have to leave.'

'what? why?' i was confused.

'well, the thing is...' he walked and sat down beside me on the couch, i turned my head away, so he won't see my damages skin. 'you are kinda wanted by the avengers? and like... i'm supposed to help them find you? and how the fuck are you even nearly as dangerous as they portray you to be?'

'well... that is bad news, i think...' shit. it was NOT good, that they were searching for me too now, but then again, i have dealt with much more worse. 'oh, also my friend will drop by later... could you please just take the bag he'll give you?'

'a drug deal?'

'no.'

'deadpool - what's up with you today? you seem so... down...' he placed his soft hand on my arm. i didn't look up. 'i know you since around two days and, well, you always seemed way more cheerier. are you okay?'

was he... concerned? OMGOMGOMGWHATDOIDO

'hahahh, well... you, sweetheart, can call me Wade.' i winked at him. shit. i was letting my guard down around this kid.

'well what kind of friend?' i could feel him look at me.

'a good one. one of the few true ones.' i kept my eyes on the ground, trying to stare holes into the carpet, not daring to turn my face towards the pretty boy.

'well then...' he said and squeezed my arm with his hand. Peter shifted and the next moment his other hand was placed around my other arm and i'm being turned towards him. our pose was pretty weird, to be honest. i was lying halfway on my back, tho my feet were still on the floor. Peter was hovering above me, his feet also still touching the carpet under the couch and leaning on both my arms, now directly staring into my face.

then i realised what this meant. he saw _my face._

'i'm so sorry...' i whimpered and tried to turn around. but the boy was surprisingly strong and held me down with a steel grip. his brown eyes just studied my face for some time, it felt like twenty years. then he sat up on the couch and ended up sitting on both his knees. he let go of one of my arms and his fingers moved closer to the thing i was most insecure about. and no, it was not my dick. i am very proud of that guy. i mean my face, you dirty minded person. smh.

i was expecting him to poke my eyes out and run, but to my surprise he carefully caressed my cheek. at his touch i flinched, not used to such a careful and soft touch.

i looked him straight in his eyes and he stared back.

'what happened?' his whisper was just a warm breeze against my skin.

'i... it's complicated.' i kept on staring into his perfect brown eyes, then my vision got blurry and i noticed that i was crying.

with my free hand i wiped them dry and noticed only now, how close the boy was to me. i got very hot and i'm not just talking about my face. (MY CROTCH!)

Peter seemed to notice how close we were as well, but he had a very different reaction. he pushed his face even closer to mine and let go of my other arm as well, which caused him to prop himself up with his elbows on my torso and cupping my face between his hands.

then he pulled me closer and kissed me, because of shock i was like paralysed. it felt nice though and i got into it. not thinking bout it, my arms went around, one i put on his ass, the other on his lower back and pushed him against my face more.

he broke the kiss and sat up again, didn't waste any time though and took one of my legs and put it on his other side, so he was sitting between them. then he began fumbling on my pair of sweatpants. Peter pushed them down, together with my boxers, me touching and squeezing his ass most of the time.

none of us said one word during this whole time, we were just both breathing heavily. very heavily.

Peter took his own pants off and i could see, he was as hard as i was. this made me weirdly happy. his eyes met mine. he looked scary, like a starving wolf, that just picked up the scent of a rabbit. full of determination to catch his prey. me. it send pleasant shivers down my scarred back.

he didn't seem to be bothered by my scarred body or he just didn't really notice.

the boy finally broke eye contact and looked at my dick. he bent down, but before he could do anything, a knock on the door pulled the both of us back to reality.

blushing, the boy pulled his pants back on and tripped towards the door the knock came from. he peeped through the eye hole, then turned around to me. while he was doing all that, i calmly sat up and pulled my own pants back on.

'there is some guy here. is that your friend?' he pulled the lock open and let Weasel in. since Peter was still obviously flustered, he retreated into his room and left me alone with my friend.

'here's your costume, man. also you can keep the clothes i gave you. i have to go now, back to the bar. see you, _Francis_ , my man.' Weasel smiled. he seemed to know, that he interrupted something. or maybe it was just my imagination.

my friend left and i pulled my mask out of the bag, that he left here and pulled it over my face. i instantly felt safer.


End file.
